Some girls fantasize about their crushes. Some chronicle their fantasies and unrequited feelings into their private blogs or those furry little notebooks with that totally secure lock that no one could pick open with a pen or paperclip, ever. Many of these entries are quite poetic, too. As though having a crush on a guy that doesn't know you exist -- or worse, does know you exist but is completely unimpressed -- gives you this new superpower where everything you write sounds like it'd earn a Publitzer. Pulitzer? Whatever, the literary version of a Nobel Prize.
Me?
I fantasize, sure. But not in a hack-able blog or 'hidden' diary -- seriously, who ever thought under the bed or mattress was the perfect hiding spot for the records of private musings? You know where's really private? IN YOUR HEAD. Yup, I take a much more secure approach.
Perched on a tree staring at him as he plays soccer, all the while narrating my thoughts back to myself in my head like JD from 'Scrubs.'
Oh, God, I just heard it...
How creepy is that from one to restraining order?
And I ask this as if anyone is going to answer in my own head. Although I suppose the fact that no one does answer is a good sign. Like there's still hope for me yet, right? I really need to stop asking myself non-rhetorical questions.
Ooh, leg cramp. God, that hurts. How do I climb down again? Let's see, was it this branch that I...?
"WAAAHHH!"
OWW! SON OF A-- DAMMIT. God... Okay. Well, at least I got down.
....
Just in time for the entire team to see me and stare. Heh, heh... "H-Hi, guys... Great practice?" Oh, God, this is mortifying. They look so creeped out. No, wait, one of them is smiling. Okay, so maybe it's not so...
Wait.
Oh, no.
And now they're all laughing. Hysterically. Yup. I think this would be the best time to RUN.
OWW!! Since when is there a rock there?! Oh, God, did my pants rip? Oh, Jesus-- Oh, okay. Whew, no they didn't...
Although now I'm the girl who checked out her own butt.
Ugh. Kill me.
....
Okay, I don't see them anymore so I think I'm far enough away now. That was humiliating. And I think I sprained my ankle.
Sigh. Why couldn't I just buy a diary?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N:
:) Okay, guys, I know this excerpt must seem totally random and bizarre, but you have NO IDEA how happy I am that it came out from my fingertips!! A lot of things have been happening -- none of it interesting or eventful, it's been mostly psychological stress/breakdowns and emotional/personal drama -- which have created this MONUMENTAL WRITER'S BLOCK that literally left me unable to complete a SENTENCE of anything for months. Now this excerpt might not be that great, I don't know, I've never written anything from this kind of point of view before, but my point stands that THIS is THE FIRST THING I've been able to get out since graduation!! Sad? A little. But I'm choosing to look at it as a beacon of hope that the huge brick wall on my brain may finally be deconstructing itself.
Cross your fingers for me guys. You have no idea how much I've been losing it at the idea that I might not be able to do this.
Oh, side note: The above character is named Marley. And contrary to (possibly) your first thought, her parents didn't name her after Bob Marley, they named her after the DOG, Marley.
Her life is just that kind.
5 comments:
I believe the dog Marley was named after Bob Marley. Soooo... If-so Fact-o...
I actually like this style of writing because it kind of sounds like she's a little off her rocker. It feels authentic.
My one note is this sentence:
How creepy is that from one to restraining order?
It was a little difficult to read. Was one and from supposed to be switched?
Write more "diary entries" from her please? ^_^ It makes me think I'm not so crazy.
@Aliisza: No, they're not supposed to be switched. She was using "one" and "restraining order" as a scale. Like when people say, "On a scale from one to ten." Maybe I should put apostrophes around "one" and "restraining order" to make it clearer?
I'm so glad this left you wanting more! It's the first time I've tried this style of writing so I didn't know how well it/I would fare. :)
Now it makes sense! I just read it weird. Parentheses might work since it felt as if it wasn't indicated that you were using a "scale". Anything really could work, maybe a colon?
You could write another one you know, to just to help get your writer juices flowing and I would be more than happy to read it. ^_^ Make them like I'm actually reading a blog, but it's not. =)
This is dad, I love it! First I want to appologize since you sent me the link on an email a while ago and I didn't see it until now. I really like the style, I don't remember seen it before, but again, I don't read much. As I said before, maybe changing styles is what you need to get going, somtimes you think you are stuck in life and all you see is fog ahead but keep going, you are not stuck, you are on a fork road, and you just have let your faith in God guide you to pick the right one. We are all scared of the future but trust me, we put you in the hands of God when you were a baby and He never leaves anyone behind. There is always a time were we think we are not good enough, but I know you are good because GOD doesn't make junk, all his creations are MASTER PIECES!!!
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